Because of exams, I've been pressing this to the back of my mind, but now that they're over, I suppose I should face it head-on: I think I need to change subjects.
I've been talking about changing almost since I began, but I never came to any definite decision. I enjoy Latin and Philosophy: it's interesting, relatively challenging, and I'm good at it (I think – I guess we'll see when the results come out!). But the more I think about it, the less of a good idea it seems. I suppose the impetus for this comes from a feeling that I haven't really clicked in the subjects I'm doing. I'm not certain I can see myself doing this for four years, and definitely not certain I can see where I'd go afterwards.
I've been tracing my interest in philosophy, and I think a lot of it came out of a concern for practical ethics. In secondary school I was quite involved with our Amnesty International group. I hated the death penalty; I couldn't understand how human beings could treat one another like that. It would be a topic commonly-debated in competitions, and I found myself making the same arguments over and over again: arguments from its ineffectiveness, arguments from its cruelty, etc. etc. But they seemed to leave the fundamental objection unaddressed, or if it was addressed, only in terms of a dogmatic belief in the sanctity of human life.
But the more you ask why such-and-such is right or wrong, the more areas you open up to more questions. Does right or wrong require free choice, and if so, do we have free choice, and if so, what's the nature of that freedom? Does right or wrong require God, or some transcendental reality, and if so, is there a God, and if so, what's his nature and how does he interact with our world? And so on and so forth. The fundamental ethical choices with which we motivate our actions everyday (whether explicitly or implicitly) involve a whole range of metaphysical issues – basically, a very large chunk of philosophy.
I've completed a year now, and I'm very glad that I've learned something about the great thinkers, but I've come no closer to satisfying one of my original cravings. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think that after only a year in Philosophy, I would have discovered a completely coherent body of ethical beliefs with a firm foundation. But I don't think I'm even one step closer to that goal. If to be a good person, you need to be a moral person (I'm no closer to discovering if that's true either), then this year I've become a better-informed person, but not a better person.
But where else do I even have a hope of touching on these kinds of issues? True. But I think the point is, I'm tired of the search. Especially when it seems so fruitless.
And then there's Latin, one of the great loves of my life. It's logical and methodical, but at the same time capable of so much passion and beauty. I was in no small measure influenced from an early age by my love of Greek and Roman mythology. And for the six years I studied Latin in secondary school, I had a wonderful teacher, who no doubt made me associate Latin with all the lovelier aspects of humanity. But to be perfectly honest, I think the main driving force behind my decision to study Latin at third level was a sense of protectiveness. I felt that I had to help continue Latin scholarship, that I couldn't let something that was so wonderful to me just die away. I felt I would be abandoning it. But I'm not certain that's a good reason to continue in a subject.
So what would I do instead? At the moment, I'm thinking about Medicine. It satisfies my love for science and my interest in human biology. I don't think there's a better pursuit in my mind than helping to protect life in general, probably the most beautiful and continually awe-inspiring thing I've discovered, and human life in particular, being the most perfect expression thus far of life's process.
I'm certain some of the original decision away from Medicine was railing at the silly notion of Medicine being what smart people do, regardless of their talent or interest. I didn't want to be that person. But I realise now that it works the other way around: if you are interested in it, and you think you'd be good at it, the stupid stereotype shouldn't deter you. I'm not concerned about money, except peripherally, i.e. an ill-defined concern for people who might be financially dependent on me someday. But I won't deny the options it would open up would be comforting.
There are so many other things to be considered as well. I apologise for this entry being long. Truth be told, this post is more for myself than anyone else, trying to get it straight in my head. Which doesn't mean, of course, that I wouldn't appreciate anyone's input. I think I need all the advice I can get!
I guess there are really two separate questions at hand here: 1) Should I change subjects? 2) If so, should I do Medicine instead? The second involves a lot of ancillary questions, like “Would I be any good at it?”, “Would I have the dedication required?”, etc.
And, of course, most importantly, could I withstand the sneers of the Arts students?
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5 comments:
Vomit. You become a damned physician, and I'll never talk to you again.
Either contribute to the body of knowledge of man, become interesting, or make a shit load of money. Everything else is bollox.
You really are hating doctors, Ronan!
Besides, he's not limited to being a physician; he could be a surgeon, psychiatrist, pathologist, clinical microbiologist, obstetrician, researcher, educator. Or sell out and do something altogether different.
I've already given you my thoughts on the subject through MSN ie. that if its something that would make you happy then go for it.
Of course, I can't understand why you'd be worried about being sneered at by arts students as you've already weathered an entire year of being sneered at by science students.
(And everyone knows our insults and putdowns are of a higher and more ingenious standard anyway)
Conor's advice is very sensible. Sure you can't know if you'd enjoy the career until you actually do it. It's the irony of most things in life!
As for enjoying the biological sciences, it's perhaps not the best reason to do medicine (rather than actually reading a science discipline, for example). Knowing anatomoy, physiology, biochemistry, patholgy, pharmacology etc is really taken for granted. You just know it. Practicing medicine is about applying that knowledge, and seeing how it links with what you're seeing in the patient. It's this aspect of it that can make the would-be medic frustrated in the early years, when all you're doing is learning the sciences (although the new Trinity course addresses this).
To be honest, anyone who's relatively bright can learn all that. The real challenge is using the knowledge. Moreover, relating to people, understanding their concerns, adapting to all situations and people, and conveying the information you have to the layman is far far more important. Furthermore, being able to get the "data" you need from people is crucial, and the sick don't come with nice print-outs of what's going on. Being able to examine your patient is a skill that's hard to learn, although there is the common belief that kids who played video games, and played musical instruments seem to be better at this than most, so you should be somewhat advantaged there.
It's so hard to know. I know very few people who finish medicine who continue to practice for the same reasons they initially applied to med school
Quoth Mark, "You really are hating doctors, Ronan!"
Untrue! Indeed, I'm becoming one. Rather, I'm harbouring a fugacious disaffection for physicianship, precipitated by a terminological contretemps with an erstwhile paramour. And I may not have been entirely in earnest. Any perceived impugnations upon your chosen profession must be dispelled, or I will feel awful.
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